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why adolescent must "de-idealize" their parents ?


why adolescent must "de-idealize" their parents

Adolescence is a pivotal period which brings about very complex physical, psychological and social upheavals.

It is also a phase of life that brings about major changes in the lives of parents and adults who deal with adolescents.

Young people, gruff and independent, are extremely sensitive to the words we say to them and the actions we take towards them.

We are well aware of this great sensitivity, and the attitudes of adults are also familiar to us.

Who does not remember having experienced great joys, great sorrows and great anger at this age?

We all remember an adult who, paying attention only to appearances, criticized our physical appearance, our ideas or even our sometimes excessive emotions.

Or yet another, negative and fearful one, who discouraged and devalued us. And who does not also remember the image of an adult (parent, teacher or educator) who believed in us and who supported us?

Self-esteem is the foundation of any strategy to prevent teens from many behavioral and learning problems.

It goes without saying that every parent must promote its development. Creating a sense of confidence in adolescents is the first task for parents and educators.

To do this, you have to believe in him, involve him in making the rules that affect him and help him recognize and manage his stress.

This achievement will allow adolescents to experience a sense of inner security which will be conducive to good self-esteem.

Second, you need to help the adolescent get to know himself so that he appreciates himself.

For this, it is important to highlight its strengths and show it its vulnerabilities while sparing its pride.

Parents must also recognize that their teenager has specific needs:

To separate from them, to assert themselves and to become independent while feeling loved, appreciated, listened to, understood and respected.

A whole program in perspective! But this is not yet enough. The adolescent also needs to learn to live in a group and in society.

This learning takes place within the family, in the group of friends and in the school environment.

The young person must first learn to participate and, second, to cooperate.

This wise apprentice enhances his self-esteem and allows him to find his rightful place in society.

Ultimately, adolescents cannot develop good self-esteem if they do not regularly experience success in their endeavors, whether in their sports or leisure activities, in their love life, with their friends and at school. .

To be successful, young people must have the right to make mistakes and they must be able to see them as opportunities to try new strategies that will allow them to be successful in life and to be successful in life.

To project themselves into the future or into their future life, teenagers need role models who make them want to move forward and solve their problems in a peaceful and constructive way every day.

Adolescent must "de-idealize" their parents

Parents can serve as role models if they are true to their own values, but that is not enough.

Because the adolescent must "de-idealize" them in order to become independent. And he then turns to characters who represent new values.

However, parents are still in the best position to help their teenager develop, maintain and consolidate good self-esteem.

Their task is particularly important when the clouds are gathering or when depression and discouragement creep in.

In these moments, it is they who become the guarantors of the vital strength of their adolescent.

Never ceasing to believe in their daughter or their son, they help her to keep as a baggage this self-esteem which will allow the young person to go through life in a harmonious way.


How do you motivate a teenager in school? 

How Do I Motivate My Teen?

pubmed 2

DUCLOS, Germain. L’estime de soi, un passeport pour la vie. Montréal: Éditions de l’Hôpital Sainte-Justine, 2000. 117 p.


ACKER, Vincent. Ados, comment les motiver: la méthode Gordon appliquée à la motivation scolaire. Alleur: Marabout, 2000. 279 p.

Duclos, Germain L’estime de soi des adolescents