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The teenager must learn to manage his stress.

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The teenager must learn to manage his stress.


The teenager must learn to manage his stress.


The causes of stress in adolescence.

According to several authors, the main causes of stress in adolescence are:

  • parental divorce;
  • arguments between parents;
  • the delinquency of the father;

  • mother's depression.


It is necessary that adolescents detach themselves from their parents.


However, they cannot do it easily if they do not represent solid and reassuring models. In this case, young people quickly become anxious.


If you find that your child has been through times of great family stress in the past six months, take steps to be gentle on them by not making them a confidant or a witness to your conflicts.


Stress and body image


You can also talk to her about the big picture and suggest different ways to deal with her stress.


Stress causes a lot of tension and has effects on physical health and behavior. It can be caused by your teen's body image of himself, his school life, his family life, his social life or his love life.


Research conducted in Canada with 200 young people aged 12 to 17 shows that girls are generally more stressed than boys. The main causes of stress in girls are physical appearance and schoolwork. For boys, the concerns are schoolwork and money.


Adolescents, like adults, react to stress either with physical symptoms (headaches, tics, etc.) or with behavioral or learning problems (aggressiveness, withdrawal, memory loss, etc.) .


Stress is closely linked to novelty, change and the process of adaptation. We feel good when our life is stable and predictable.


On the other hand, tension arises when too many changes occur, no matter how pleasant they are.

On the other hand, it is possible to prepare for change. It is therefore important for parents to secure their young people by de-dramatizing situations.


Scenario:

You have to move for your job. You know that your teenager cares deeply about his friends and his living environment.


You wonder how you are going to prepare him for this change. Take a look at the few suggestions that follow.


Talk well in advance about this move with your youngster and accept that he or she reacts badly at first. 

Allow time to pass and come back to the subject, stressing that you understand their reaction.

Give and explain the reasons for your decision to move.


Explore with your child the possible arrangements that could mitigate the effects of this move (possibility of welcoming friends in the new house, permission to spend weekends with friends, possibility of having, in the family budget, a special item for telephone expenses, etc.).

 

Do not moralize, because it is useless: "You know very well that I cannot do otherwise! You are not reasonable! "

 

Do not minimize the impact of the move: "You are going to make new friends! The house is going to be bigger and more beautiful! ”

Do not show sharp authority: "It's like that and you'll have to get used to it! "


Talk about your project with your child's friends in their presence and be open to their reactions.


Parents sometimes avoid talking about the changes that are coming because they fear the teenager's reactions.


They want to avoid conflicts or intense emotional reactions. However, the opposite is true.


We talk about these changes with the teenager and the more he sees them as unfair and negative.


He may even come to view them as plots against him. When an individual is stressed, it is essential to find a way to reduce the tension.


If he does not, he is at risk of getting sick and having behavioral problems.


Parents, like teens, need to find their own ways of dealing with stress.


Here are some ways to reduce stress:


    • Lie down to relax.
    • Dream.
    • Listen to music.
    • To laugh.
    • Running, playing sports, spending energy.
    • Cleaning, cooking.
    • Talk to someone you trust.
    • Garden.
    • Read, listen to television.
    • Write, paint.
    • Take a hot bath or get a massage.
    • Do another enjoyable activity.


You need to have confidence in yourself as a parent first before you can trust your teenager.


Confidence is built in action.


When you protect a young person too much, you devalue them and prevent them from finding personal ways to cope with situations.

When we give him complete freedom, we make him experience a state of insecurity and we push him to test our limits.

The so-called democratic discipline establishes rules taking into account each member of the family. It is based on communication, negotiation and warm firmness.

The young person who knows the limits of his parents and who realizes that we take the time to really consult him has better self-esteem.

Stress is a part of life.



Stress is a part of life. But if it occurs too often or if it is too intense, it reduces the feeling of inner security.

Neither parents nor teenagers can live with great stress for long without becoming negative towards themselves and others.

It is important to recognize the causes and symptoms of stress, and to discover the best ways to regain inner peace.


Ask yourself if you are instilling a sense of trust in your teenager?


You can verify this by asking yourself the following questions: 

  • am i a reliable parent?
  • I trust my teenager?
  • I believe in his abilities?
  • do I allow him to be different from me?
  • do I take his opinion into account?
  • my teenager participates in the development of family rules? 
  •  are the family rules clear and concrete?
  • do family rules take into account each member of the family?
  • am I helping my teenager recognize the symptoms of stress?
  • can I help him find ways to reduce this stress?


Thanks to the acquisition of a new intellectual structure called formal thinking, the teenager, around 14 years old, begins to think in an abstract way, to make new logical connections and to take a step back from concrete realities.

In short, he becomes capable of philosophizing and inventing dreams and projects that sometimes seem quite unrealistic to us.


References:

How do you motivate a teenager in school? 

How Do I Motivate My Teen?

pubmed 2

DUCLOS, Germain. L’estime de soi, un passeport pour la vie. Montréal: Éditions de l’Hôpital Sainte-Justine, 2000. 117 p.

Livres

ACKER, Vincent. Ados, comment les motiver: la méthode Gordon appliquée à la motivation scolaire. Alleur: Marabout, 2000. 279 p.

Duclos, Germain L’estime de soi des adolescents

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