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Useful Tips To Help Your Teens Solve Their Problems


Useful Tips To Help Your Teens Solve Their Problems

The teenager learns to solve his problems.

Nowadays, the adolescent is called upon to live in a constantly changing world. It has to deal actively with new and increasingly complex problems.

He must therefore learn to seek and find original solutions to the many problems he encounters on a daily basis.

Parents and teachers can certainly help him develop intelligent, effective and creative thinking.

Strategies for dealing with a conflict situation.

There are three types of strategies for dealing with a conflict situation.

Escape strategies (avoiding hot topics, suppressing emotional reactions) which are sometimes beneficial.

But in general, a person is not very satisfied with themselves when they constantly use these kinds of strategies. She has the same fears and apprehensions whenever she finds herself in similar situations.

Softening strategies (trying to work things out, wanting to calm things down, just sort out a few small things, lessen the reasons that gave rise to the conflict situation) that help to minimize the effects of a conflict situation.

These strategies are only intended to delay an open confrontation with the other.

Finally, confrontational strategies (using physical or psychological force, using blackmail and threats) that put you in a situation where there is a winner and a loser.

These strategies are very effective, but only if you are on the winning side.

Rather, when you are on the losing side, you experience humiliation, repressed hostility, and physical or moral injury.

Each, while "mostly" using one of the three types, also uses other types of strategies in day-to-day life when faced with conflict situations.

It is totaly normal!

Now try to find out which strategy you use most often and see if the same applies to your child.

Do you think the way your child deals with conflict situations is similar to yours?

How do you solve a real problem by negotiating a mutual agreement?

Step 1: Identify the problem. Try to better understand the conflict situation, that is to say the discomfort or the need expressed by each. Describe the problem.

Step 2: List all possible solutions. Try to specify what exactly you want. State all the expectations, all the aspirations and list all the solutions that could resolve this conflict.

Step 3: Evaluate the relevance of each solution.

Step 4: Make a joint decision. What is the solution that now appears most likely to resolve the conflict?

Step 5: Apply the chosen solution. Who is going to do what? How? 'Or' What ? when?

Step 6: Evaluate the results of the negotiated agreement.

Rethink the way things went by asking yourself the following questions:

  • Did everything go well?
  •  Are all the participants in this negotiation satisfied?
  • Has the conflict situation resolved since the application of the chosen solution?
  • Are there any corrections to be made to make the situation even clearer?

Negotiation: a constructive and peaceful problem-solving strategy.

The purpose of negotiation is to allow a peaceful resolution of a problem, through a compromise or a solution which, to some extent, satisfies both parties.

Among the problem-solving strategies, negotiation is the most constructive and the most peaceful, and its consequences are the least negative.

In other words, we can say that negotiation is an art that has its own rules. These rules must be put into practice every day. No one comes into the world knowing how to negotiate.

Rather, it is a skill that develops gradually throughout life. There is no winner or loser when using trading strategies.

Ask yourself if you can negotiate?

Am I able to...

• determine the nature of the conflicts (affecting routines, rules, attitudes, values)?

• to take the initiative to open a dialogue?

listen to and understand the other's point of view?

• to adopt a position of openness, reflection and attentive listening to the other?

• to assert my own point of view in an articulate manner?

• avoid making negative judgments about others?

• to focus my attention on the search for tangible results?

• use the problem-solving process?

• to clarify the problem encountered?

• perceive each other's position?

• provide alternatives?

• assess what is the most relevant solution to settle the conflict?

• decide with the other on the chosen solution?

• decide to implement the solution (how and when)?

• to follow up and evaluate the solution adopted after a certain period of time?

• resume the negotiation process if the chosen solution does not prove to be valid?

The ability to face opposition and resolve conflicts with others is certainly one of the most important personal qualities.

We must learn to negotiate and foster cooperation when seeking peaceful solutions to the inevitable conflicts of daily life.

Ability to resolve conflicts.

The quality of relationships with others greatly depends on it. The adolescent must learn to think for himself.

He must learn to think independently rather than repeating the information received or reproducing the range of ready-made solutions that have been devised by his parents and teachers.

In their quest for identity and autonomy, there is no doubt that the adolescent must be supported and helped.

The role of the parent is to respect his capacity for abstract and logical reasoning, as well as to help him become aware of the motives which make him act. It is also about getting them to think about the consequences of their actions.



pubmed 2

DUCLOS, Germain. L’estime de soi, un passeport pour la vie. Montréal: Éditions de l’Hôpital Sainte-Justine, 2000. 117 p.


ACKER, Vincent. Ados, comment les motiver: la méthode Gordon appliquée à la motivation scolaire. Alleur: Marabout, 2000. 279 p.

Duclos, Germain L’estime de soi des adolescents